Yesterdays Pictures Are Old News

Warped tour is this Friday and I'm so excited.  It's going to be one long marvelous day. Derrick is picking me up at 7:30, so I have to get up around 6 (ohmigod that's earlier than I get up for school haha). We're getting in at 9:10 and from there it shoudl be a constant party. Haha. But ah I'm so excited. I can't stop thinking about all the stuff I need to bring, all the stuf I'm going to see, and all the stuff I'm going to get!

I only went to Warped one other time, that was the summer before sophmore year, now its the summer before senior year, I've changed so much so hopefully I'll have an even better time!

Ladedadedaaaaaaaa fun fun fun.

Im bored, I like lists, and there are so many things I want to do. So here is a list of things I want to do before I stop being cool. Okay, so I know Ill always be cool, but before I stop being as cool as I am now. Aha. Whatever, here it goes;

• Go to Comic-Con.  Of course this is at the top of my list, every year when its all over Buzznet I get so excited and it seems so cool, next year will hopefully be my year!
• Follow a band for a week+.  Since I got into concerts and such this has been a dream, and its for sure going to happen, possibly for more than a week or possibly more than one tour!
• Obtain a photo pass. I have always wanted to be the girl in front of the barriar holding an amazing camera taking cool shots of an incredible band.
• Put together a collection of my work. Possibly my poetry or photography, most likely a combination of both. Not all of it though, just the peices that I feel are the best or mean the most to me.
• Create a collection of short stories and/or write a book.  Through out fourth and fifth grade I spent a majority of my time writing a book it ended up being 20 pages, front and back, hand written(nothing huge) but my mom took it to a local publishing place to make a copy for me and a few family members/friends to look like a real novel and they liked it and were going to release it into all of the district school libraries but they moved locations and lost it and we didnt have another copy. I regret not having another copy so much becuase I wish I could read it again. It would be great to write a book and have a few copies, nothing major even, just for me.
• Get involved in a Big Brother/Sister program to help out an underprivelaged kid.
• Learn a different language.
• Go To Disney Land/World for a day and geek out as the little kid I am freely. 21st Birthday Party anyone?
• Travel out of the country.
• See the world end. 12 - 12 - 12, take pictures even though there will be no point.
• Complete a ginormous puzzle on my own.
• Learn to snowboard/skateboard.
• Live off freely for a month or more.  Have you seen "Into the Wild"? I want to do what he did, at least for a little while. I would love to live like that for a lifetime(el el el) but I dont think I could.
• Read the classics. Obvious as it sounds, read all the classic novels I can.
• Make a short or independent film. I dont talk about it or express it much but films are one of my great passions and I love watching them, making them, and Im sure I would enjoy writing one. A short, even like "Hexidermy" would be such an accomplishment for me.
• Create a masterpeice...using crayons.
• Dig up dinosaur bones. Basically I love dinosaurs and history and such and I think it would be awesome to go on the site of a dino dig to either see or participate in excavation.(i believe that is what its called)
• Learn to do something or become an expert at something pointless. Like, learn to spin plates or jump really high, or something.
• Record Label/Venue. This is not specific at all, but I think it would be awesome to have a small record label type thing for local bands or be an owner/co-owner of a small venue somewhere someday. I love music and it would be awesome to be involved in helping out small, true, bands fufill their dream.
• Go to Bamboozle. Plain and simple.
• Make something awesome out of clay.
• Make my own stuffed animal. Create something completly my own on my own and have it be good.
• Help someone, with no benifiet for myself
• Roadtrip. Another obvious one. A roadtrip with my closest friends to amazing places
• Go to New York City.
• Try my hand at stand up comedy. Just once, why not.
• Do karoke alone in front of strangers. No one to help or comfort me.
• Be in a music video. Another simple one, either be in a music video or be an extra in a movie.
• Live somewhere else. Its really not that I hate it here, but I know that it will be a huge challenge for me to live away from here becuase I am sort of rather afraid of people and unknown places. I want to live somewhere where I will have to be on my own. I need to know I can trust myself.
• Visit a tarot card person, phycic or something along those lines.
• Hold a benefit concert for something I care about.
• Intern someplace interesting. AP Magazine,  record label, tv show.
• Work at a Teenie Bopper magazine or Radio Disney. Its been a dream since like, 7th grade. You cant crush me.
• Learn to play an instrument. Any instrument, and actually take the time and have the mindset to be good and not give up as I have in the past.
• Go to some amazing nature place, waterfall, hiking spot. Go camping, something anything, and enjoy it.
• Dress up to Renessance Faire.

I had a dream that there was a Jurassic Park type island near Milwaukee and we were all trying to get there for the opening. A mix between my mom and family and my friends were trying to get there, eventually Andi and I found it after taking a weird bus from a strange hotel and ended up near Milwaukee Museum, but not. So we got there and Sarah, Nikki, Erica and a few of our other friends were there and then tons of other people. So it was supposed to be outside of this building and on a bunch of connected islands in this supposed lake(cuz it was huge in teh dream) and it would all be connected by bridges and stuff and it was supposed to be really safe.

Then we were there and we were on teh main base kind of thing but somethign went wrong and all the dinosaurs were loose in the water and out of their cages on the islands and we freeked out and since we were on teh main base there was a secure kind of building but it was mostly glass so not very effective. There was really no one in charge so it was up to us normal people to figure out what to do but we couldnt leave the park so we locked ourselves in this main base thing with a ton of other people and we were all sitting and waiting for it to be over, but there were a ton of people who wanted to figure  out exactly what was going on so they were walking across the bridges to the islands with the dinosaurs on them,and  i went half way down one of them before freeking out and coming back. And we were sitting on a couch, and there was akwardly an aquarium next to it and my Joe, Kelly, Bella and Joey(neighbors) were there and Joey just came up and sat on my lap and we were all really scared and then a dinosaur was like, right in front of the glass and we were like AH!

And then I think things might have been safer and randomly Patrick Stump and Kyle Dee were there and they turned some old cardboard boxes into a stage and each performed an accoustic set and I think Kyle Dee was sitting on Patricks lap for a while and it was strange....and yea. Haha.

Then the doors opened and Lemke walked in and he was freekiing out becuase he saw a bunch of people killed by the dinosaurs or something so I gave him to Nikki and everyone left. Then Andi and I had to find our way home and while we were looking for the bus we saw people trying to sell us heroin or they were on heroin or something. Then I woke up.

weird much.

Okay, I have gone quite a while without writing a lengthy rant or blog on here, myspace, or anywhere else. I have had no need, I dont usually feel the need to explain myself anymore becuase it's pointless. Now, I feel I need to becuase I'm frustrated and I feel like everyone is on the complet opposite side of this spectrum and it's a bit nauseating.

I am going to be a senior this coming year, I am not going to college right away after that. I am taking a year off for sure, it could turn into a few more, it could turn into a life time. Whatever happens, I am fine with that. I am not particularly excited for college. I don't know anything about it, I'm smart but not smart enough for college, and I am sort of afraid of people so I dont understand how this could be a good thing for me.

I am not going to college simply becuase it's expect and 'required' to have a good life. Who wants a good life, the standard good life I mean? I dont know if I want kids, I'm not sure if I want to be married, and I most likely wont have a 'dream job'. It's probably strange that I don't care if I have a shitty job. I am perfectly okay with having a medicore, 9 to 5 job with enough pay for neccessitys and a few other good things. As long as I can do what I want in my own free time, I don't care. I dont want an extravvagent life, it's not for me. College, at least right away, is not for me.

This time last year, we were walking around talking about the future, scared. I had friends who didn't know what they wanted to do, and some who were also gonna take time off. Now I'm the last one who's not (it seems) and I've never really been affected by the pressure from family or teachers or adults, but now, I'm am oober freeking sick of the pressure I'm getting from certain friends. That is bullshit. I don't have to go to college, I dont have to do anyhing! I can be homeless if I want, I can live with my parents for the rest of my life, I can go to collge and be unhappy and unready, but that is not what I want. I AM NOT GOING TO DO SOMETHING I AM NOT READY FOR! That would be pointless, even Mr Dawson said that taking a year off would probably be good for me considering my situation of jobless, moneyless, and unreadiness.

Today we ran into Morgan at Blockbuster. He is my age but he graduated this year, instead of next. I asked him where he was going to college, becuase I only assumed he was going since he was really smart and driven it seemed. He said he's not going and he's not sure what he's doing, eventually he's thinking about an apprentaceship somewhere. I high-fived him on that. He's not going to college, he doesn't have to, and he's gonna be great anyway.

I dont need to go to college to be a brillant author or accomplished writer. I dont need college to be an inspiring photographer or creative, mastermind painter. I dont need a college degree to tell me, or anyone else, that I'm smart and talented. I only hope that I can represent myself and not be another clone behind a degree. I'm not ditching college or people who go. Honestly, if you're going that is great and I'm very happy for you, but please, dont pressure me or anyone else into going. IT'S MY LIFE, I have to die someday, so let me live it now. Jeezez louizez. Let me be.

I'm done know. Kaythanxxbai.

- TO TAKE THIS SURVEY, SIMPLY PUT YOUR MUSIC PLAYER ON SHUFFLE -
- AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WITH THE TITLE OF THE SONG THAT COMES ON -
[it's better if you don't cheat and don't skip any songs.]

What is your name? Or what should your name be?
I'm Waiting - All American Rejects
No, my name is Rhianna.

How is your life going?
Hostpital - The Used
I have been in the hospital a lot the last week and a half.... >.<

What is your nickname?
Introduction - Panic! at the Disco
uhhm no.

What is your theme song?
Sweet Dreams Sucker - Treat of Paris
^^

What is your best friend's theme song?
Baby Girl, I'm a Blur - Say Anything
I dont think either of them really even know that song.... but whatever.

How is your life going to turn out?
Dropped - Phantom Planet
"Tell me that you want me, tell me that you need me, tell me cuz I'd like to know"

Will you get married?
Graduation Day - Head Automatica
That's kinda unrelated....

Will you have kids?
There's a Fire - Ok Go
uhmm....y/n/wtf? haha

What will your job be?
You're the Wanker, If Anyone Is - Say Anything
uhmm haha....no?

Did you/will you finish school?
Clams Have Feelings Too(Actually They Dont - NoFX
:D

Who is your best friend?
Single and Loving it - Endwell
Andi? y/n?

Who is or will be your significant other?
GoldMindGutted - Bright Eyes

Who do you like?
Hippy Gumbo - T. Rex
TRex FTW! haha :D "met a man, he was nice, said his name was paradise..."

How will you die?
The One - Backstreet Boys (stfu, yes I have BSB on my zune!!!)
well, that's a rather depressing fate.

How do you feel right now?
Camisado - Panic! at the Disco
no.

What is your favorite song?
Keep It Simple - Cobra Starship
Not even close.

How could you describe your parents?
She - Green Day
My mommy is a she. My daddy is a he.

Your best friend[s]?
Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Elton John (The Lion King)
awwwwwwwwwwwwsies, yes yes yes! :)

Your teachers?
Hey Mr Dj(keep playing that song) - Backstreet Boys (shutup again!)
and no, no no no.

Your significant other [or crush...]?
Desert Song - My Chemical Romance
I would hope not...

Yourself?
My Blue Heaven - Taking Back Sunday
"Sometimes it just feels better to give in"

What is your best feature?
The Quiet - We The Kings
So should I stop talking er what? haha

What will you be / should you be, profession-wise?
Fat Lip - youknowwho haha
uhm...no?

How could you describe this survey?
In Memorium In Advance - From First To Last
"clarity please speak to me" not so much

What makes you angry?
The Apl Song - The Black Eyed Peas

What makes you sad?
Show Me The Meaning(of being lonely) - Backstreet Boys
aahhahahaha

What makes you happy?
Longview - Green Day
ahahahahah :D hahha wow. niiiiiiiiccce.

What makes you dance?
Burn Your Life Down - Tegan And Sara
Sure does, but then again I dance to anything :)

What is your favorite color?
A Rite of Passage - Bayside
Uhm well I love Bayside. The end.

How would you describe yourself?
C C C Cinnamon Lips - Ok Go
haha, i loooooooooove this song, i looooooooooooooooooooove when Tim sings ^^

Who is your worst enemy?
Alive With the Glory of Love - Say Anything
I dont really have any, but if i did this wouldnt describe them, this song is about love in the holocoust so maybe it means my enemy is hitler! yes that must be it., okay yea sure.

Who do you hate?
Riot Girl - Good Charlotte
Not true.

Who do you love?
Sister to Sleep - My Chemical Romance

Who do you lust after?
Sweet Misery - Michelle Branch

Finish the Sentece

I wish: Dakota - Steel Train
that is not a proper sentence.

I want to: Capricorn - 30STM
Again, not a sentance.

I want to kill: Rotting - Green Day
Jeezez not a sentence.

I want to eat: Her Is No Why - Smashing Pumpkins

My head: Died A Jew - Say Anything
ahha uhm..heh...

I am: Madame Butterflies - Destroyer
ahaha yes, yes I am :)

My best feature is: Stars in Your Eyes - Armour For Sleep
people do tend to like my eyes.

My eyes are : Having a Blast - Green Day
oh, they so are!

My hair is: Where is the Love - the Black Eyes Peas
haha

My face is: Alone on the Sea - Steel Train
aww.

You should: Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy - Teh Fallout Boiz

Words of advice?
Secret Lover - Kelly Osbourne
Uhm haha no.

How do others see me?
Time of My Life - Lily Allen
"oh yes, im fine, everything's just wonderful, i'm having the time of my life"

How do I see myself?
Not Sorry - The Cranberries
no, i'm not sorry...but about what?

Is that since I constantly play it on shuffle, I will listen to Landslide and start crying and seconds later be fine and rapping along with MC Lars to "6 Degrees of Kurt Cobain"

The End.

{warning this is a blog of complaints and anger}

You know what's stupid, when I'm messing around with my sister and then we exit my room to go upstairs and all of Robrats stupid friends are sitting outside my door and they go "Hey you're right, she is fat" and some other bullshit stuff. Then I tell my dad, "You need to tell the assfucks to get out of our house becuase one of them called me fat..." and all he does is says "Which one of you is an assfuck?" and nothing else.

I really have no problems with killing people like them. I have nothing to lose, I'll die anyway. >.< Why do I have to put up with this kind of crap on my summer vacation in my house? Does that make any sense?

K so two fun little stories.

My mom was just driving one of my brothers friends home and she got pulled over. She wasn't doing anything wrong, the cop said he pulled her over becuase her car didnt match her plates. We have an oldsmobile car we got from my Uncle/Grampa Jack and he is a weirdo and put BMW decals all over it...so it looks like its supposed to be a BMW. Lame joke. So the cop got her name and stuff and realized there was a warrant out for her arrest becuase she never paid a speeding ticket from May 5th 07 (she got while taking me and my friends home from a show). So she had to be taken to the police station and finger printed and everything and they held her til she could pay the $100. Luckily she had my gramma's debt card thing with her.          She came home and told me, is it horrible that I find the whole ordeal quite comical? haha

Second, Robrat decided he would have a sleepover at 11 at night, so him and his friends are here, and I just got a lock on my door finallly and all is good. My room is in the basement, and so is a lounge area type thing where they sleep. I go upstairs for like half a second to go to the bathroom and I come back down and continue watching tv. Just a few minutes ago I go out of my room to close the door to their area and who do I see on tv, but Marla Singer ofcourse! Marla, if you are not familar, is  a crazy lady from Fight Club. My movie, I dont mind sharing, but my brother has a huge theft problem and it pisses me off. My mom refused to do anything so I kindly told the three boys that I wasn't down with theft and I would have to take it out, if they had asked it would be a differnt story (i dont think it would, that movie is innappropriate for them anyway!) Jake was like; "okay, i respect your decision, you gotta listen to this girl on my cellphone telling me to shove a dildo down my throat she thinks shes from alabama" and i was like "uuuuuuuh..im just gonna take my movie" and then robrats other friend..i duno his name was like "nooooo dont take it. actually its boring..but please let us keep watching it" needless to say...robrat is quite pissed...so im sleeping with my door locked tonight even though I'm not supposed to.

And that's it for my random late night adventures. Love you &hearts;

Can I haz him???? I always see him on talk shows and find him hilarious, today I finally searched him on youtube and he's just great. I highly suggest you check  him out, he is rather sexual from what I've seen, so don't watch if you're easily offended. I think he's oober funny and rather adore him....please?

Pictures From The Show in DeKalb. I don't want to take the time to post them on here too...so if you wanna see em check em out on my facebook!

All I can do right now is try to live my life in the here and now. I don't know what I'm doing a  year from now, I don't have any plans for a career, and I don't know what I'm going to do about schooling after highschool. Right now, that doesn't matter to me. This is so far seeming like the best summer yet! I had 3 amazing days at Summerfest, I've had great fun with my best friends, I saw an amazing show last night (and brought my polaroid camera, the bands loved it!) I got a backstage pass to Warped for giving blood, and I got home from Andi's this morning to discover that both Derrick and I (along with 8 other people) have won Free VIP Access Reporter Passes to Warped, which basically means I get in free, I get in early, and I get to watch one main stage band (before 4) FROM THE STAGE!

I am so in love with life right now, it's great. Tomarrow or Monday I'm going to make peanut butter with the Peanut Butter Machine thing I got (its shaped like and elephant) and Sunday I might be going to Waukeshau County Fair with Katie. I got a lot more concerts coming up, I probably sound like I'm bragging but I'm not trying to, I'm just so completly happy with everything right now. This is how my life is supposed to be :D

I hope you're having a great summer too!

May all your days be filled with cotten candy rainbows and bouncy ball stars!

Of the decor in my future home...if I somehow obtain a kazillion dollars and am only allowed to shop at Urban Outfitters....
Hey, a girl can dream, right?

100 %  Recycled Vase. Imagine some large bright flowers in this thing *dreams*

Antoinette Fainting Sofa, it's so classic looking!

Citrus Border Rug (not the chair, that's ugly!)

Elly Little Hooks - Set of 2. So, I already have an elephant collection thing, wouldn't these be perfect?!?!

Good Nite Pillowcase Set (sooooo bad ass! I'm gangsta in my sleep :D)

Hello Kitty Series 1 (duno how these are decor..but they're cute!)

Lasar Alarm Clock. wait...WHAT!???!

Lulu Chair - Swedish Geo. It looks so comfy.

Masha D'yans Strawberry Roots Canvas (beautiful much!!)

Mini Ping Pong Table. Actually I'll probably have a regular sized ping pong table or air hockey table cuz I love em so much!

Mix Tape Pillowcase Set. Well....I'll have 2 beds, so I can have this set too :)

Owl Necklace Stand. I wish I had this now, I'm getting a lot of necklaces...

Painted Owl Lambase. Actually, I cant really decide if this is cute or ugly. Eh, whatever :)

Pod Table (delicous)

Recycled Magazine Frame (only there wouldnt be a picture of some random chick in it!)

Zebra Apostraphe Chair and Ottomon. Okay, so usually I really hate animal printed things, but zebra is okay...i guess...and this is just a sweet style of a chair!

Tee Shirt Frame. Someday I wont wear band shirts anymore (I'm already changing that...) and when that day comes, these tee shirt frames will be there to perserve my greatest concert tees.

Tallulah Patchwork Chair Prismatic (or something like that...) Isn't it WONDERFUL!?!?!

So, I strongly suggest if you're bored to go check out urbanoutfitters.com (all pictures from that site...) so yea, great stuff!

Note: None of these things match, and that is probably the most realistic thing about this blog, I will someday have a shitty apartment full of mistmatching things and it will look horrible but I will love it! Too bad poor Erica will be stuck with it all as well :D

That it is incredibly hard to reason with someone 10 years less mature than you and 20 years older, with the education of highschool sophmore and the stubborn of a jackass and the selfishness you would normally see in a small child who hasn't yet learned to share.

Erica and I watched The Exorcist for the first time ever today, it ended at 1:15 and she left at like 1:30.
It's 2:45 now and I'm still freeked out and cant sleep, I even watched some Kevin Smith to make it better, but he can only help so much!

Oh well, good thing I have nothing important to do cuz I'm gonna be oober tired haha. Awesome.

Does anyone have $150ish they can give me so I can get my pictures (january 31 - July3) developed? That would be so great. Get back to me on that and thanks in advance!

 

ps. anyone wanna take me here too?

I've decided to compile a list of femaile musicans becuase I've noticed people looking for some and realize that they need to all be in one place becuase there are many more than I have realized and they rock.... (btw this is in no specific order)

• Sick of Sarah
• The Niki Barr Band
• The Dollyrots
• Linden
• Alex Winston
• Tegan and Sara
• Paramore
• Kelly Osborne
• The Hush Sound
• Alanis Morisette
• Aretha Franklin
• Tracy Chapman
• Janis Joplin
• Avril Lavigne
• Lily Allen
• Meg & Dia
• Michelle Branch
• Vanesse Carlton
• The Forecast
• Silversun Pickups

What other bands can you think of? Feel free to add them in the comments. Lists are fun!