Yesterdays Pictures Are Old News

http://blackparadegirl.buzznet.com/user/journal/762241/ is the first journal i wrote about it with lyrics from the cds I Am The Movie and Committ This To Memory. These are lyrics from Even If It Kills Me and the other songs I found :)

• I've got emotion
  Dripping out my pores and I
  Thought I would let you know
  You are the night light,
  Ripping through my wicked world
  How you make it sparkle and glow,
  Before I lose control
  There's just one thing you should know
• I had some nightmares,
  Clawing at my skin and bones
  I nearly did explode
  You smoked the demons
  Gave me back my feelings
  Now I am good to go
• I'll get lost, messed up and bored when I'm alone too long
  I can't sleep, function or eat when I'm not with someone
• It seemed like a dream
  A beautiful scream
  That echoed forever
  And made us not afraid to feel a thing
• What doesn't kill us makes us who we are
• My panic research was no help
  I sink into myself
  Afraid of the fall that never ends
  I wait, but I'm too tired to play pretend
  I'll suffocate until the end
• I haunt the halls of medicine at night
  Choking back the urge to fight
• The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend
  This is goodbye, this is the end
• When I’m awake,
  I make the same mistakes they make.
  When I’m awake,
  I can’t escape
• Every story needs an ending, after all.
• Quite likely, you're a failure
  It's a shitty thing to say, but hey man - the clock is ticking
• I thought of all the things I'd like to say
  Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
  I just waited for my world to fall apart
  That's why I'll never finish anything I start
• I was thinking about that
  And a bunch of other things
  Stop looking at the floor...
  I need to pour out this expansive dose of words.
  I can't explain...
  I need to be alone.
• And I'm too tired to pretend it doesn't hurt
  To be left out
• I had a pocket full of dreams
  But I gave them all to you
  Now I think I want them back
  So can you tell me if I'm crazy or confused?
  Don't ever change
  The way you are
  I've never loved anyone more.
• Then I’ll star in a mystery
  A tragic tale of all that’s yet to come
  Fingers crossed there will be love
• So much to say
  But no words to convey
  The loneliness building with each passing day
  But I’m getting used to it, you have to get used to it
• I’ll devise the best disguise
  A brand new look and take them by surprise
  They’ll never guess what’s not inside
• But I get carried away
  with every phrase and made up malady
  The longer I hide behind these lies,
  The more I disintegrate
• Well it's kill or be killed
  And one day we'll get the best of them
  Hello helicopter, will you be my friend?
  Will you take me away?
• Hello there, how you doin'?
  I've got all these thoughts just floating through my brain
  They bump and they collide and cause a flurry of confusion
  And it's getting on my nerves
  I try to hold myself together
  fighting off this mental weather when I can (sometimes I do)
  But this shitstorm's never ending
  And the atmospheric pressure's calling for rain
• There's so much going on
  And I just need seven minutes to calm myself back down
  Now I forgot where I was
  Was it me we were talking about?
  This is what I feared from the start
  I keep falling apart
• I can't stand the thought of losing
  Sentences and every island of words
  I can't stand the thought of losing
  Everything I ever thought I that I knew
  This is where I run out of words
  That describe how I'm so damn hurt
  This is where I fumble and fold
  And take what I'm told
• How I hope that you're still here when I return
• Burning bridges is a form of suicide
  I saw the fires as the ghost of my life
  Passed me by and there's nowhere you can hide
  From the lessons or the lies that bind them
• I can figure out the point of anything
  Just not as quick as I can mess up my life
  With all my dreams hooked to hospital machines
  I think, "let's try redefining beautiful."
• She's what's keeping me alive
  She's the pizza of my eye
  Without her near me I would not survive
• But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
  And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
  For the first time in a long time I can say
  That I want to try to get better and
  Overcome each moment
  In my own way
• I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind
  I tried hard for awhile
  But then I kinda gave up
  Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
  "I’m really not as stubborn as I seem,"
  Said the knuckle to the concrete
• I feel helpless for the most part
  But I’m learning to open my eyes
  And the sad truth of the matter is
  I’ll never get over it
  But I’m gonna try
  To get better and overcome each moment
  In my own way
  I so want to get back on track
  And I’ll do whatever it takes
  Even if it kills me
• To be lost in a state of confusion
  no sense of direction you can't be found
  far from the truth of the slim and shady youth
  but it's all the same, yeah it's all the same to me
• Don't look now but your friends are not around
  to protect the words they gave you to be just like them
  you say the words fuck you and yeah I've got a message to
  hey we're all the same, in a way we're all the same as you
• from me to you nothing but messages and paper planes
  members only and memories end in the end
• back to the beat yo back to the beat of 1984
  we had beat street we had breakin’ 1 and 2 electric boogaloo dude it was cool
  we’d bust out the cardboard in the backstreet by the drugstore just me and you
  afterschool
• I wanna breakdance with you
• How could you make me who I am,
  When I made you who you are
• The first time I met you, fell sight of stars
  and the fire flies on dusty shoes and injured knees,
  you turned and walked away
  Subtract the bottom, add fractions on sleepy afternoons,
  take one and pass them backwards,
  you smiled and walked away
• Some memories often not quite remembered
  Some memories remain stains
• Winter was our killer, everywhere
  so long and lovely
  Head for the comfort of your comfort
  I don't believe I still believe you
  Held for the last time, held long lasting
  until whether we were at all
• the truth is
  theres a line that we all cross
  ive been crossed out
  we all get crossed out
• we are not as strong
  we have almost disappeared
  all the love we shared
  was destroyed years ago
• i married the madness who left me alone in the dark
  wrote down her a letter "ill shiver without you tonight"
  i did everything right
  i did everything i thought was right
  

He was a part of Hawthorne Heights.
Hawthorne Heights was:
-one of the first few bands I saw in concert, the first concert not at The Rave
-on the cover of the first issue of AP magazine I purchesed
                                 +ironically the issue featured stories on Saves the Day and Bayside
-the music always on my mp3player
-the songs that always came on on the way to the cemetary(to see Angie) and to my Gramma's house
-the band me and erica decided we needed to hear
-the band I conciously remember seeing perform at Black Clouds and Underdogs Tour
-the band that helped me when I was down
-the band I mentioned but once to my mom and she came home with their dvd randomly a few days later
                +that dvd made me fall in love with Casey Calvert

RIP ♥ Casey Calvert ♥ . He will be missed, he will be loved.

Me Erica and Nikki got near The Rave a lil earlier so we drove around and got there at around 5:45. I felt like I was extra frisked so I am glad I didnt bring my camera and we waited in the bar for quite a while before the doors opened. We ran to the left side of the stage and were against the people against the barriar. We took turns getting merch, I got a cheap black hoodie with pink writing and their faces on it and  a tshirt with cards on it and n its shiny.

Metro Station played first, they played like 7 songs, I knew most of them and they were SO good live. Much better than recorded. I now love the song California, that is my run away song. Meaning if I were to ever run away with someone that song would be playing the whole time.

Anberlin..the singer is creepy and wierd and old looking. The band isnt neccessarily bad but I wouldnt go to see just them and I'd probably never listen to them regularly but they werent horrible. He came into the crowd during the one song I know but I wasn't near him.

Mae was SO LONG AND SO BORING. Oh My Jezzez I wrote the bad review for that part of the concert in my head during their set. They're lack of interaction with the crowd made the long mellow set hard to endure. Thats how far I got but jez they were ugh I just wanted them to be over.

Motion City was amazing tho. Seriously this was my favorite performance of their's I have seen. They played so many amazing songs, the encore was fantastic and I got Jesse's water bottle of magic so I will keep it forever. Beforing playing a song Justin was like "this song is tasty what would you say it tastes like" and me and andi yelled mashed potatoes but Matt said "an english muffin?" and shrugged and Justin looked at him funny and he smiled sooo adorably and then Justins lik "Yea, I can see that...It does taste like a delicous English Muffin..with butter..." haha and it was great.  Also during the first two songs Justin stopped the songs and asked if the crowd was okay, they were, especially the second time, no one was hurt at all and the guy behind me was lik "are you on the same drugs as before" and it made me mad a lil but its okay haha. then justin said "rather safe than sorry" and it was awesome. they played an amazing set but unfortunatly we didnt meet them afterwards

it was amazing. the 2 guys in front of me and andi were cool..and strange..one of them saw mcs 10 times and met them 7 times tho so thats amazing

I wasnt excited for this show til after Mae and holy shit am I happy I went. that was amazing.

http://bybyshop.co.kr/front/php/product.php?product_no=446&main_cate_no=37&display_group=1

you can go to that site to get skeleton pajamas like gerard ways or similar items

i was just kinda looking for info on it so i figured someone else would be too probably

they're called kigurumi's so otherwise you can search that and try n find others :)

You read the poems when they were most important
You crossed the line to the battle front
Putting yourself in harms way
And saw fallen soldiers going down.
Others will look and see the damage
You were there when it happened
You ran to them as they bled
Trying to bandage their wounds
And did the best you could
Across the world, families had no idea.
No one realized the severity of the situation
You saw it all go down
You saw the cause and were part of the solution
Risking you life to save anothers
Others waited, clueless.
Others see the final product
Not the terror it took to get there
You fought against it and won the war
You were the savior