Yesterdays Pictures Are Old News

Rhianna O'Shea

Miss Nabke

Intermediate Composition

25 April 2007

Domestic Violence

       A woman and her husband are fighting as their children watch, after years of almost daily physical and emotional abuse her husband goes over the edge and beats his wife to death.  Another woman is dead due to domestic violence adn two children will have to suffer the emotional effects of witnessing their father murder their own mother.  Domestic violence is huge epidemic across America, thousands of people are dying because of it.  Before this problem can be stopped people must know what domestic violence is, who is being abused, and what is being done to prevent this violent crime.

      People may think that domestic violence is a man hitting his wife but it's not that simple, family abuse can come in any form from physical to emotional, either form can result in broken families or even death.  The most well known form of abuse is physical.  It includes hitting, punching, slapping, and kicking; things like this are considered battery.  The other physical form of domestic violence is sexual abuse.  These are both huge problems but the other form of domestic violence is mental abuse and is just as dangerous.  Mental abuse includes extreme amounts of negativity forced upon someone.  Constant name-calling and heckling can be like brainwashing the thoughts of worthlessness into someone's mind.  Both of these forms of abuse can cause severe emotional damage such as depression, panic attacks, post traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, and psycotic episodes.  Besides battery and psychological abuse, domestic violence can even lead to death.  On a typical day at least three women are murdered by a spouse, ex-spouse, or partner.  These numbers add up and eventually result in over 1,300 deaths a year (Healthy Mind 1).  Although this is a severe problem, the numer of women killed has dropped by fifty percent and the number of men killed has decreased by about seventy percent (CQ Researcher 4).  If America can keep this problem decreasing soon it could be a country free of domestic violence.  Still many people are victims of domestic abuse, but who are the vicims?

       While many people see women as the only victims of domestic abuse they are not.  Anyone can be abused; men, women, children, and even teenagers in relationships.  The most well known type of abuse is spousal, this can include husband abusing wife or wife abusing husband.  More than twenty five percent of women have been physically abused by a partner in their lives (Healthy Minds 1).  Domestic violence isn't only a problem for adults, abuse is often directed towards children as well.  This is a horrible act in itself but the effects are even worse, kids that experiance abuse as a child are more likely to grow up to be the abusers or victims in future relationships.  This causes an almost endless cylcle of abuse which makes this an even bigger problem.  Teenage relationships are another huge source of domestic violence crimes.  Although many are not reported, one in every eight teens know someone ages thirteen to seventten that is or has been in an abusive relationship.  Ten to seventten percent of teenage boys habe been abused by their girlfriends (CQ Researcher 4).  The reason many people dont tell anyone about the abuse is that they dont know teen relationship abuse is considered domestic abuse, they are ashamed, or they dont understand that their partners are hurting them in so many ways.  If there were more people informing teens of this widespread problem is might not be such a severe dilemma.

       So what is being done today about domestic violence? What will be done in the future?  Laws and support groups across America are helping decrease the problem of household exploitation.  There are many various laws to prevent and punish this crime, however, it is extremely perplexing becuase many lawes differ from state to state and many courts treat it as less of a crisis than it is. If all states across the country had the same laws it would be much more effective. One thing that is nationally giving billions of federal dollars to victims is the VAWA, Violence Against Women Act.  They provide money for funds for legal services, building shelters for the abused, and helping the victims (CQ Researcher 5). Even though it is helping millions of victims some people consider VAWA to be adding to the problem rather than helping it, they believe that it brtings on the common misconception that only women are abused.  Although fifteen percent of abuse victims are men, ninety nine percent of funding goes to women who have been abused, this is an unfiar act that the American Coalition For Fathers And Children and the Save Homes For Children And Families Coalition want to stop.  Both groups, along with many others, are trying to rename the lawe as the Family Violence Prevention Acta nd make it clearer that the law provides helpful programs for men as well as women (CQ Researcher 6). Many groups and law makers are tying to get less money for housing and more money for prevention so they it is less of a problem as a whole.  There are also many local groups, websites, and phone lines dedicateed to preventing domestic violence. 

       Knowledge of what domestic violence is, who is being abused, and what is being done about this violent needs to be spread in order to make this less of a problem across the United States.  So many people are suffering eachd day becuase of this huge problem and so many people are uninformed that it is even happening.  A amn beat his wife to death and his children watched.  The kids will suffer the effects of domestic abuse with emotional problems, the husband could spend the rest of his life in jail, and yet another victim is dead becuase of domestic violence.

i just rewrote an entire paper on domestic violence on yahoo becuase i dont have a writing program with spell check and i needed to send it to someone and as i finished spell check something happend and the page closed and the entire paper(4-5 pages long) was gone. fuuuuuuuuck it took me like an hour and shit and i hate typing and fuck now i have to do it all over again. i wish papers didnt have to be typed that just dumb.

(we make believe every day that our lives are still worth living and find out in the end its only us that we've been kidding)

would swallowing an entire thing of vicadin kill me? probably, maybe it would just send me to the hospital.

(im still loosing whats left of my self esteem)

dont worry i wont, im too chicken

yea so i was upstairs taking a shower when i hear my mom yelling at my siblings telling them that they need to stop acting the way they do and that im miserable and i will regret it later

"its okay because i wont be here much longer so there will be no time for regret"

is what i thought back, but i yelled back

"stop talking about me, whatever it is its not your business"

then i got bitched at by a bitch whos not bitchin

later i was told we're going on a family trip to the store to get me shorts and a swimsuit and some shit for robert n leah i said

no, i had shopping for clothes and our family trips always turn out horrible why would i ever want to combine the two?

and i got yelled at and told that i wasnt going to be getting either

i dont want shorts or a swimsuit anyway. i wont wear them becuase they show even more of my uglyness

(i deserve to hurt disfigure the outside to show how ruined i am)

ach my neck hurts i dont know why, maybe its becuase i fell purposly like 30 times yesterday :)

i might just not eat today. we dont have any food anyway but sadly i could go for some cheeze its or somthing. damn.

i wish we had diet coke mmmmmmm.

we dont have much water left. i guess i will have to eat. damn again.

(youre so fucking special i wish i was special)

ok so i just got back from the poetry reading/book opening.

I walked into the book store and noticed my old creative writing teacher, Ms. Kuhry standing there talking with a Beau, a senior who had been in creative writing with me and a few students I had seen around but didn't actually know. I walked over and stood near them, she explained how she hoped I had rememberd and didnt know if I was coming. she then told me I could pick up my free copy and made sure I knew what I was reading, I did. since i found out i had been panicing in my head, earlier in the day I read an old copy of the poem outloud to myself trying to practice. A few minutes after getting my copy Nikki walked through the door, I was happy I was no longer alone, its horrible enough being nervous but having no one to being nervous with is even worse.  We talked for a while and then talked to a few more people that I didnt really know and she did. Beau walked over and kinda said hi, then he walked away. I had no idea he had anything in here and later when i read his stuff i was amazed, he was the awesomely popular but hilarious kid in my class who was cool to everyone and wrote about ninja's, dinosaurs, and 'waking up. dead.' he was the kid who would start singing random classic rock songs during class and everyone would join in but these were seriously good. I doubt he realized I could write anything either. I had been the quiet kid in class yet he brought out the hyperness I had around my friends so when i got talking it was always random, specifically playing with play dough and making pokemon noises.  Nikki and I talked for a little more, about cheese.....hey we're in wisconsin, we have an excuse, whats yours???  finally Derek went up to the front of the reading and read a poem about music and then announced everyone. a girl i didnt know read first, it was amazing, krystal read next, also amazing, then he announced me saying 'she has many publications through out this years epiphanies' i felt my face getting warm as i walked to the front of the group of mostly strangers. I nervously opened my book and began reading. My face felt soo hot, i swear an invisable dragon was blowing fire into my face covering me in firey heat and ashes. I finished with one mistake. Of course no one noticed the mistake but me and i didnt stop or make a big deal about it, but the copy of the poem i handed in was differnt than the original, i just added a the or something. When i read it in front of the group i said the word that wasnt there, it still made sense but i almost paused for a second. i finished quickly and walked back by nikki and picked up my purse she whisperd excitedly about how it was good, i kinda was zoned out becuase of nerves and that my face was cinged to the point it was about to fall off if not drip off melting from the heat. i didnt hear derek announce beau but he walked up and read his thing, it was, as i said earlier, amazingly good. i think he was the last one, there might have been one more, everyone mingled for a bit, nikki got her copy, we got some food, talked a lil more and we walked home in the drizzzly bit of rain

the end.

gah i feel like im gonna throw up im so nervous about tonight. like 2 hours and shit i really dont wanna.  *stomps feet while jumping angrily* I DONT WANNA! grrr

in other news....better news...my camera is back alive! Yay!!!!!!!! i lurv it i do i do i do. even tho i havnet taken ne pictures its just good to know i can, ya know!

hmm do u ever feel like everyone around you's life is moving so much faster whether it be in a good way or bad way? like everyone else has a bf/gf, people are getting in bands, people are out getting drunk or high, people are driving, people have goals they actually plan on achieving. i feel like that. everyone else around me is doing shit n im not and honestly when i think of the future i think 'i dont have to worry about it, i wont have one' i cant even help it, its become like a knee-jerk reaction n its pretty pecamistic n shit but i duno.

i feel like someone is mad at me. i duno who i just feel like one of my friends is me

i hate when people are all cool sometimes and then all not cool other times, 2 people are a current annoyance of this time

hm. since eh march 15th - ish i have been having a not good time. seriously its like oober long feelings of nothingness and its not going away. thats always fun grrrrrrrrrrrr. not feelings of nothingness feelings of shittiness

the hardest words to say are the ones that mean the most.

and i hate myself for hating myself just enough to love you

i have never realized how entertaining just listening to guitar can be.

i am currently talking to aaron on yahoo on some voice chat thing as he plays songs on guitar that i dont know because i dont listen to slipknot and such but i am oddly amused. i dont even usually like just listening to instruments but whatever its better than not listening to it at all right? plus its cool to hear someone good at guitar. i wish i was better but oh well. i have no patience.

 

gar plus is helping me take my mind off my terrifidness of tomarrow 0.0 im scared!!!!!

i want to skip it but i want the book so damn i hafta go.

my cameras charging so it can live again. yippee im so excited aslk;jfd;laksjf;saijfdalsk;d i found out that even if i plug it into my computer to load pics n its dead it wont wrk :( garrr im gona take lots of pictures on vacation and im gonna try and bring my computer and try to find places with wifi signal er somthing cuz otherwise i wont be able to talk to my friends for like a whole week and that would suck sooooooooooooooo bad.

 

my camera's batteries have officially died for the time being. first off im babysitting so this brings boredom for all 3 of us and 2nd it means i will have to wait about a day before i can use it again :(

my heart and soul are officially charging until further noticed.

i love my camera

okay so this is just a random lil mabober with stuff from my chem to my friends. woot.

mikey and alicia honeymooning - bad i dislike alicia and i love mikey and i honestly think she will break his heart

frank and jamia married february 5th 2007 in Nevada - awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww im happy for them i love frank and they are a good couple. plus this means that i met married and unmarried frank. teehee. they will make cute babies...yes thats wierd nevermind

pete opening a bar called Angels and Kings - uhh im so sick of pete. the otherday i was happy with him for some reason i just was lik okay. yay for pete but now im rather angered. i dont understand him, especially not when hes saying things like "and chicks can use the guys bathroom and vice versa" that just seems like a bad idea

west side story field trip -  okay at least its not school and like everyone besides erica is going haha

yay parks -  i love lions park and me erica jenny nikki iris and aaron went there the other day and i love it. yay. swings are my favorite

teenagers - al;kdfjl;asjfd alas i must wait another week for it to be out. hopefully it will be out by the 30th so i can actually see it right away becuase otherwise i will be in arizona computerless

arizona - ewwwww family + ucky homework for all classes + boring lectures + heat = yucky vacation

pictures - i like pictures a lot and i need to get them developed. i babysit on wednesday and if i get enuf money i will develop them so yay. i lurv em.

woah almost forgot one

gerard way cracked his rib - haha idiot i love him. hes so great to still be playing shows with it. i luv him

out like a light,

 Rhianna

 

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

BAYSIDE

.........................................................................................................................................

.........................................................................................................................................

they are seriously like one of my favorites right now im not even kidding. its like

1. My Chemical Romance
2. Motion City Soundtrack, Fall Out Boy, From First To Last
3. BAYSIDE, 30stm, Green Day, Kill Hannah
4. Ok Go, David Bowie, The Acadamy Is...

see they way i make music favorite lists is that all of 2 is my 2nd favorite they are equal to eachother. all of 3 is the same way only 3rd and so on and so fourth.

but yes bayside i luv em. i have the accoustic cd and ther stuff from purevolume and i just got Sirens and Condolances and it is magically delicious   *speaking of magical motion city is like a fairytale storybook only musical* yes bayside bayside bayside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cannot wait to see them on warped tour this summer they are like pretty much the only reason i am going. thats a pretty good reason.

i feel like writing but i dont know what, i dont feel that i can compose anything with full completed thoughts.

blame intermediate comp. damn class we have 2 papers due at any given time. currently i just handed in a group paper about respect and started the research for one about domestic violence, i also wrote a short daily paper on my best friend and i have a test on grammer monday in that class. she likes to pile shit on. she gives us assignments that she had in college and advanced comp that she saved. im a sophmore in intermediate, there's a skosh of a difference. i dont like that class, even the people are annoying when they arent doing anything. plus huge group games of catch phrase arent fun with them. i miss poetry and novel kinda.

Virginia Tech Massacre: very very sad and shocking. stuff like this doesnt seem to set in for me. its like uh 32 people...more died in other ways.(im not trying to be disrespectful im just writing thoughts here) i dont know, im kinda emotionless towards the deaths at this point all though i am very sorry for their families, i am intrested in this guy though. he was horrible obviously but with all iv read about him in the news and stuff he seemed like an intresting person, well i guess its more intresting to see how much people know about him now mostly becuase of his writings. literature is legacy anything could prove that whether it be celebrity or criminal.

bitches, i hate them. ones who crave attention and are such sluts that they hurt other people for no reason. example:cheating on a boyfriend with his best friend. who the fuck does that?!?!?!?! i feel like yelling at her. if i bring rock candy to school she cant have any.

a day of silence: you may have heard about it/participated in it. i didnt. not becuase im against what they were doing but becuase i think IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO HEAR YOUR MESSAGE YOU NEED TO SPEAK. i dont think that anyones opinions on the situation was changed. the only people i heard talking about it were questioning it, half of them thought it was against gay people. a simple note cannot possibly explain the point that is trying to be brought across, it seems to me that it was a pointless day. what people need is a day of VOICE telling people why their descrimination is wrong

bayside is really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really good

i love shadows. at dylan and mason(kids i babysit) house at the time im usually there the sun is perfect on the wall of their house and we make shadows.(i did indeed post kickass pictures.literally.actually most are probly on my deviant art.)

no one loves me on deviantart.com(username rhiannadanger) i joined becuase i wanted people's input on my art and with my about 60 things on there i have lik 4 comments, i want peoples input on what they think and how to improve etc.!!!!!!!!!

im fucking nervous for thursday i really really really really really dont want to read my stupid poem outloud. i dont think its good, i dont like it and i dont want people to hear it and i dont want to read it and i dont want to.

i hate myself more than ive ever let on bla bla bla .....good song

i dont really know whats going on lately i dont really know what i feel

i want to take pictures

i want to walk around with someone but at the same time i dont

i want to get a hair cut and dye my hair again. i need a change

i wish something would come in the mail for me. i orderd stupid free peta stuff so i could get somtihng in the mail!!!!!!!

if there was a way to take somthing back you have done if it didnt turn out right i would tell someone i like him someday. but there is no such invention as this so i probably never will damn.

if i wake up now i can be pure again(again i love the damn song and its stuck in my head)

i have a huge scratch across my chin diagonally and i dont know how it got there and it hurts and it ruins my face even more

damian sounded different kinda on jay leno last night when okgo played

conan obrian is awesome

if i only had an ax(song song song song song song)

i feel unimportant

when people are about to move a jillion miles aweay to ohio it fucking sucks really bad especially when they might be starting to understand

i feel sorry for william in the big mess video :(     i do like the song though

when pen turns to gun its time to end the autobiography(random thing that popped into my head a few days ago and i cant get it out, i think im sposed to use it in a poem or somting)

picture frames are cool i havent bought one in a long time...

...just becuase i have no where to put them

i love getting pictures developed. i have pretty many i need developed right now

i have a lot of built up anger

                                and sadness

                                        and akwardness

                                              and somewhat happy weird feeling

                                                       and some confusion too

im creative but not

i cant get you out of my head my head your the flame that burns me so that i know that im still alive(gad bayside yes.)

im out of good easter candy

i need to study for german. fuck that..........ich habe nein hauseofgarben ich habe ein test!!!!!

i have really grown to love my german class, those kids are alright.

i miss stephanie

cassi too

motion city soundtrack is such a good band i cant even stand it. new cd JULY 17th!!!!!!!!!!!

scientists they couldnt fix me(song duh)

im scared for summer i duno if i can do it

this month went super fast

and its almost summer vacation

and like i said. im scared.

i like boxes

everything should be different.

A MESSAGE FROM GERARD

news

k so yes im still really sick and last night after getting back from the docters and hospitals i slept from 6pm to 3am so i didnt go to school the next day cuz my mom wants me to rest and becuase i didnt do my homework. so yea, ive been sleeping and thats basically it. im very bored but at 4.15 i have to go babysit, yay money. bllaa

so yea one of the times i was sleeping i had a really wierd confusing dream a bunch of stuff happened involving a nightmare before christmas painting a tree and a lot of people? but the ending was weirdest in which a bunch of people i know n dont know were in the concert place and kill hannah played and then elton john played and yelled at my friend for saying lion king was the greatest movie ever..... strange. but seriously. lion king is the best movie ever.

ok so i have been sleeping alot the last few days cuz im sick and these are 2 dreams i had both with gerard in them which is wierd cuz i usually dont dream about famous people or anything, its usually like my friends and myself and stuff.

first dream

i go with my mom to a huge city for a work meeting or somthing, its in a pretty dangerous seeming neighborhood and its really dark, she goes into this really tall black windowed building and leaves me across the street on the sidewalk. i know that gerard way just had a meeting of some sort inside the same building and am waiting for him, its really cold and i have a suitcase and a plastic bag with me i dont know what is inside. i think that my mom is about to come out becuase its been along time and i start to think gerard will never come, all the sudden blond gerard walks out from the side of the building looking down and hes rushing, he looks like he is angry but i call him over anyway. he seems really annoyed as i ask him to sign a pin and peice of paper for myself and a piece of paper for libby but he does anyway. he seems really annoyed and upset but trys to hide it. he walks off into a dark alley and i start freeking out, then my mom brother and sister come out and i tell them what happened. we drive home and when i get there i tell nikki while walking down stairs to my room.

second dream

im sick and i go upstairs out of boredom my mom is busy with something even tho its around dinner time and she has to leave so i decide to go to my grandmas house for the night. while waiting for her to come pick me up i turn on tv and see a preview for My Crib(not mtv cribz but my crib....even in my dreams up unmtv) and yea so i hurry and run to the tv when i get to my grandmas house. i turn it on and on the screen it shows a really nice white house with a red roof and really green grass, there are nice bushes and flowers and a walkway leeding to the front door, its all really nice, they go inside and its kinda dark and really empty, it seems really huge.  they go into a huge empty living room with wood floors and see nothing but a couch with gerard curled up sleeping on it with white sheets all over him. its old gerard like from the old school im not okay video. he wakes up adorably and hes like wtf are you doing here and they tell him that this is the only time they could come. thats all i rmeember of the show because then these wierd securtiy looking people are in my grandmas apartment are tlling her she needs to get the mail. i go home and ther is a tv in the corner of the kitchen so i try to watch it there but cant

eh fuck whenever i get sick things get worse. i have strep and now my mom thinks i have mono. damn that would suck. i do not feel good at all.

i dont feel good

my throat hurts

i want cereal

im really tired but i cant sleep

im freezing

i have $8.00

only 1 day left of spring break

is the greatest day of it all.....pft nope

today was pretty boring but i did start a deviantart account so go check it out, my username is rhiannadanger  oooooooo yea, i wanted a diff username and i never did somthin lik that b4 haha. yea so u should check it out, im in the process of uploading all my poetry(that will take forever becuase i have to type it all) but i already have some of my photography, drawings, and paintings up. if you have an account tell me and i'll add you :) yes. so woot. spring break is like half gone and even worse it snowed today what the fucking fuck.

watch at your own risk, for those who missed it, its the last 3 minutes of last weeks scrubs i missed it and am just finding what happened to laverene

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/n3kycDOxEHw"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/n3kycDOxEHw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO im freaking out. this cant be happening. i cant even think that last week while i was listening to silversun pickups or okgo at a show this was happening..........i dont really get into scrubs and the only other episode i got this emotional about was the one where brendon frasers character dies, i dont even remember. this is a horrible way to see her go.
RIP Laverene(she will be in my televison heart always)

"Everything happens for  a reason"

"I lived with a man before marraige once, his name was Jesus"

Yesterday was the one and only Gerard Way's 30th birthday.(i probably wont make it that far nor would i want to). There have been thoughts going around of what he may have done to celebrate...some even including the element of bringing in alcoholic beverages into the situation.  I think this is ridiculous however this is somewhate of a milestone birthday is it not? i think that 30 is a major huge birthday, its going from the reckless years of fun but work filled 20's to a possibly more serious 30's. yes. eitherway he probably just celebrated by playing with legos and eating icecream...yes? on another note....

while gerard may or may not have been celebrating yesterday i was...not really celebrating but i was having a hella good time. earlier in the day i walked to ben franklin and walgreens and the book store with nikki and heidi and then erica met up with us. we soon went home. me and heidi discussed plans for our combined funerals/gravestone planes etc etc. we may just stage our own deaths. later in the day nikki and heidi came over. we hung out for a skosh and then went to walmart, we got home at like one....then we acted stupid bla bla bla. wen heidi fell asleep we painted "Balls" on her cheek. hahah then they went home at lik noon. i feel aleep between 1 and 2 and just woke up at 6.15. its weird to wake up and watch the simpsons.

if you were bored enough to watch this and want soemthing better to entertain and amaze you go watch my friend you0ducking0duck (ericas) latest videos of her playing kickass guitar covers or vote her up in the punk goes accoustic contest.

starting a new painting soon but im not sure what i want to paint. i think i may do one of the cool paintigns from the smashing pumpkins cd case. ooo i got another one of their cds today by selling more books :) i got (Rotten Apples)The Smashing Pumpkins Greatest Hits...its very good. i also got the Men Women and Childrens cd. i havent listened to it yet but i assume its good cuz ther a good band. there were alot of greenday cds there, i think the only one they had that i didnt was Nimrod. yes. so yea, paint. i want to. i want to walk around too but its quite chilly.

indeed. well tomarrow is easter sooo...

okay im bored and was going through all my cds and yea. i made a list. if it says other it means just other stuff from cds i dont have and if it says unrealesed that means i have unrelased songs duh. they are in no specific order.

• My Chemical Romance - I brought you my bullets you brought me your love
•                                     - Three Cheers for sweet revenge
•                                      - The Black Parade
•                                     - Unreleased
• Ok Go - Ok Go
•            - Oh No
•             -  Unreleased
• Hellogoodbye - self titled EP
•                       - other
• Motion City Soundtrack - I Am The Movie
•                                       - Commit this to memory
• David Bowie -  The Best of Bowie
• Fall Out Boy - Evening out with your girlfriend
•                     -My heart will always be the b-side of my tounge
•                    - Take this to your grave
•                      - From under the cork tree
•                     - Infinity on High
• Panic! At the Disco - A fever you cant sweat out
• Green Day - Shenanigens
•                  - Interntational Superhits
•                  - Dookie
•                  - Warning
•                  - American Idiot
• The Killers - Hot Fuss
•                   - Unreleased
• Tegan and Sara - So Jelous
• Kelly Osborne - Sleeping in the Nothing
•                         - Other
• All American Rejects - Move Along
• Blind Melon - not sure of title
• Matchbook Romance - Stories and Alibis
•                                   - Other
• Action Action - An Armby of Shapes Between Wars
• The Smashing Pumpkins - Machina
•                                       - Rotten Apples
•                                       - Other(and hopes to get more soon)
• Silversun Pickups - Carnavas
•                            - Other
• Bayside - Accoustic
•              - Other
• Patent Pending - Save eachother the whales ared doing fine
•                         -other/unreleased
• Kill Hannah - For never and ever
•                    - Until there's nothing left of us
• Violent Femmes - not sure of title
• The Used -  In love and death
•                 - other
• Say Anything - Is a real boy
•                      - Was a real boy
• From First to Last - Heroine
•                              - other
• Nightmare of You
• So they say
• Minutes too far
• Blink 182
• Hot hot heat
• bright eyes
• taking back sunday
• The Academy Is... - Almost Here
• the sleeping
• spitafiled
• silverstein
• endwell
• four letter lie
• the audition
• moros eros
• the black maria
• aiden
• a day to remember
• musical outfits
• dustin kensrue
• damera
• goodbye tomarrow
• Blue October
• Something Corporate
• Deathcab for Cutie
• Jacks Manniquin
• Plain White Tee's
• Secret Machines
• Head Automatica
• Radiohead
• The Classic Crime
• The Hush Sound
• Cobra Starship -  While the city sleeps, we rule the streets
• The Misfits
• Hawthorne Heights
• The Dresden Dolls
• Cute is what we aim for
• Paramore
• Endless Hallway
• We are the scientists
• Dropping Daylight
• Greeley Estates
• The Early November
• AFI
• Kaiser Cheifs
• The White Stripes
• Less than Jake
• 30 Seconds to Mars
• Envy on the Coast
• And then I turned seven/Jamestown story
• Chiodos
• Men Women & Children - Men Women & Children

i believe that that may be it, the bands i didnt write anything next to meant it was just other, so i dont have any full cds by them. yea. pretty good list right. i plan on watering it and feeding it and giviing it lots of sunlight so it can grow bigger and bigger and bigger :)

ok so yesterday i went to a concert and today...

i woke up around 11:30 after 1 extremly alarming dreams on which i was on many drugs and made bad decisions and nikki tried to stop me but i wouldnt and then heidi and arial broke my camera and all my photos were destroyed and i was mad and then 1 very scary dream where some guy was trying to kill me and all these ppl were trying to help me and it was weird and the guy had tried to kill andi before.

then i cleaned my room for a few hours, its noticible but yea....i was bored, while i cleaned i listened to okgos okgo cd. and fall out boys infinity on high.

around 3 my gramma took me to halfprice books and we got lost on the way there cuz she doesnt .listen to me. when we got ther i sold about 20 of my old books for 9.50 just but still, its money all the same and i bought some stuff.

i got a huge book about david bowie so maybe i can read somthing for once, the movie urban legend, the movie big daddy, a book about duct tape, and the smashing pumpkins cd Machina the machines of God. so far im on the third song Stand Inside Your Love and i must say its rather good. the art inside the cd cover thing is really cool too. for those of you who have it i luv the Chemist Brings Spark, As The Machines Resume, and The Heavens Cry Her Immortal Thirst ones. i might try painting 1 someday.... so yes.

i didnt spend ne money though. i had a gift certificate for 16.26 and i used the 9.50 frm thos books and i still have .30 on the gift card. i love not spending money.

amazing spring break right. yep.

i love both of these bands but you may know snow patrol(whom i hate) was that main band and we left as they started. so me libby and nikki went, it is libbys first actual concert and me and nikkis kajillionith.

we arive to the rave and i swear they do less checks every time its crazy i could have again broughten my camera. yes. sooo we went into the crowd on the right side and it was a lil thick so we went to the other side, got pretty close. everyone was really loose no shoulder to shoulder crowd and a lot of old people. and i mean a lot. also many preppy fake us makeup drenched prissy fucking prick chicks. well once silversun pickups started nikki and i shot forward and libby did a skosh and yea, people were pissed but not like angry beat us up pissed like talk loudly abouty how annoying we are. yea. and i am not exaggerating one bit when i say that me nikki and lik maybe 10 other people in the whole crowd were the only people moving. there was lik a 3 feet radious of empty space around every single person there!!! well yea so we wer freaking out jumping and screaming etc. and the girls behind me were making fun of me and the guy next to me was giving me wierds looks and like everyon there was lik "wtf r they doing moving at a concert?!?!?!" so whenever i would jump and accidently back up a skosh the girls behind me would get insulted and push me lightly in the center of my back. the girls in front of me were behind nikki and whenever she jumped or screamed they looked at eachother with disgusted faces. ew to them. i was so tempted the entire time to turn to somone around me and lik show them how to jump and be lik "why arent you jumping? dont u like concerts and music?!?!?!" but i didnt. soo yea during the set up for okgo the girls in front of me had really long skinny ciggarettes and they got really short really fast, they were intresting(i also failed to mention this was a first concert that didnt have really any drugs in the air no smoke and such, it was weird being able to breath) and yea so okgo came out and nikki came by me, libby was still a group away from us and yea we of course freaked out the entire time for okgo and so did the guy behind us actually, again we were basically the only ones in the crowd moving, id say a few more people joined us this time. yea some intresting stuff happend on stage, not to much so i dont even feel like going into it right now.  yea so the guy behind us was pretty cool and then okgo was done(no dance performances) so we ran out of ther fast cuz who would want to risk seeing snow patrol and as wer leaving hes lik "hey guys that was fricken awesome" with ahuge smile on his face. all the girls around were kinda speechless and im sure once we left they talked shit about us and how happy they were we were gone. its okay. they made it intresting. yea so really tame crowd. we got our (expensive)merch(same price as 30stm overpriced stuff) and went upstairs to the balcony where we met up with my mom cousin carrie and 2nd cousin cody. i got a brown silversun pickups shirt, same as libby.  soon after we left and then went to this really amazing mccdonalds for soda and bathrooms. omg it was an AMAZING bathroom it was automatic flushing sinks soap and paper towl but even crazier the huge mirror over the sink had a television(television ah oh oh ohhhhhhh) inside of it and it was crazy high tech and like in reg eating area ther was lik crazy cool setting an chairs and a FIREPLACE it was crazy n ther wer lik tvs everywhre. i wana go ther again haha. once we got a few blocks away frm libbys house we got pulled over for speeding haha. the end now i am home doing nothing. its crazy to say we left a concert at like 10 n we were really to go at 9:49...scrubs wasnt even over yet and the concert was for us. crazy shit.

as for concerts now i have a low chance of men women and children, a lower chance of fob honda civic tour to look forward to, besides that for sure warped tour at the end of july but i guess ib been to lik a jillion in the last month

uhh..yea so out of no where today my mom tells me im scene.....wtf...i have never mentioned that word a day in my life to her or most people.

sooo yea. i went upstairs and we were talking about random stuff(my brother going on about how someone in either pantera or cartel<hewasntsure> got shot by some milwuakee gang member or something and i was telling him he was full of shit because who would want to should or kill cartel... and if they did wouldnt they have done so a few weeks ago when they were here on tour? eitherway i dont understand and then we kept arguing/talking about music and i said something about concerts and my mom was like "your a pretty scene kid you know"

sarcastically i reply back with "oh yea, i should def. try to win the so scene contest on buzznet and get a big pic of my face in AP magazine!"

her response "well you take enough pictures of yourself, you should have no problem with that."

me *rolls eyes* "yea i really want to enter a contest that would basically be putting myself into a stereotype when i dont want to be stereotyped. not at all, as anything whether it be good or bad"

my mom didnt really know what to say or somthign so the conversastion pretty much ended.

heres the rest. i dont even completly undertand scene. how can a picture or a few pictures show who you are, i know they saying 'a pictures worth 1000 words' but wouldnt that be completly judging a book by its cover? thats something im not too in to. i'd rather have people know me before they judge me, in the wise words of the lik 8 year old i babysit for      

"I dont care what people do unless they start judging me, then I get pissed and start fighting with them"

why would i want to be stereotyped as anything. or judged as anything whether it be scene/emo/goth/prep/stoner/hippie/chav/loner/nerd/whatever. i dont know if scene should be compared as one of those things cuz im not completly sure what it even means(dont really care) i guess it just means i know whats going on in the 'scene' im into. whatever. maybe i should try to win. haha that would be funny.

yea so i guess its just wierd becuase i would never really consider myself scene, to me it just seems like a hardcore verson of emo or somthing...i dont really know, when i think of scene i think dyed hair, peircings, music, cool clothes. i dye my hair i guess. and i listen to music but i dont consider myself scene...i just consider myself.....odd?

i am pretty pleased that i went to this concert - admittedly it was not the best show i have been to but when Kill Hannah came out it made it all worth the while.

We got in and went upstairs to get our drink tickets so we didnt have to pay for actual show tickets, we saved $4. woot. then we went downstairs to more of a bar area where they played. it wasnt the regular bar area thats lik a waiting place for other shows it was bigger than that. on the right there was an open bar on the left there was a closed bar(where we sat for a while) and in the center was the stage(rather small). a little to the left of the stage was the merch tent where we got our kill hannah stuff right away, i got a tshirt and dog tags and erica got a hoodie. they had cheep merch, my stuff only added up to $25, the cost of the cheapest 30stm stuff. the guy who sold us our merch later played drums for kill hannah even tho hes not actually a member, iv seen him as a techie at the rave before. then sarah dope was working the merch. yea. just thought id name drop there haha. sooo then we went over to the left side of the stage real close to the front(it was a loose crowd) and waited for the first band, Late April, to come out. before they did a girl turned to me and said "I like your shirt" i was lik "thanks...i just got it" she seemed nice enough...later she turned very very veeeerrrrrrrry annoying, to the point where we slowly left her. either way she decided since she was alone that we would be her friends, her name was Syd. turns out she was in 8th grade wich she used to justify her short height. she told us this band sucked and that we should walk around, we did a little bit becuase the band didnt suck but it wasnt really great or anythign either. i wouldnt suggest them. then the next band came out and they did suck. at this point we were sitting on the closed bar and syd was messing with ericas hair(erica likes her hair to be really really straight) and she was messing it up. erica played along like she thought it looked good. then the guys from late april asked us why we werent watching the band and syd said because they sucked, and then started talking to these guys about how their band sucked, they then asked if me and erica wanted some cookies becuase we were nice, they were good cookies. okay soooooooo this other girl came over who was a roadie with a few bands and she was talking to us bout how she perfers going to late april becuase their under 21 they party more and they dont have girlfriends where as kill hannah are around 30, they have girlfriends and they party different. okay. so somehow these 2 girls both were able to tolerate eachother and they went to talk somehwere else, syd was upset we didnt go with her but then we went into the crowd, Strata played, they were pretty good, i'll probably look into some of there stuff. then finally kill hannah time.(note:my dad makes the best macaroni and cheese, i know becuase im currently eating some, wich reminds me, i guess im not mad at him for screaming at me for no reason the other day cuz he said sorry and suprisingly gave me $20 wich is wierd cuz a>we have no money b>he never gives me money anyway, so yes, that helped me to get merch) okay back to the show.  Kill hannah came out, all the guitars had these green laser things on the end so whenever they moved around it looks like they were fighting with lightsabers or something, it was awesome, after a skosh of playing mat came out and put this pink bear thing on one of the amps. i forgot what song they played first. at this point there was this really really big/heavy girl diagonally right to me, and wenever she would move id get pushed sideways....it was akward and uncomfertable, later i got people in front of her, i was touching the bar but not against the bar. during one of the song breaks mat said

"I love coming to milwaukee, you guys are the last stop of this tour and we wanted to quit but we didnt want to miss this show here with you guys. on our last tour we didnt come here, i think we need to hire a new booking manager becuase that is just unacceptable.!"  

they played more songs and mat continuously was in the crowd. i never got to touch him. before the last song they played mat said:

"now if you were go back in time, or say you were watching the history channel on bands from chicago, you would see some skinny retarded kid standing on tv(points to himself) who just got his heart broken. and instead of getting into drugs, killing himself, or...i duno, calling his parents he wrote a song about it, he wrote a song that formed a band, this band, that song is called KILL HANNAH"

then he went into the song. woot. i think it was after that song that they left stage. the pink bear was still on the amp. minutes later they came back out and he was in a white hoodie zipped up(rather than the brown blazer jacket thing he wore previously open with nothing underneath), most of the time they were on stage after that the white hood covered his eyes and nose. they played some more songs. sadly they did not play Unwanted. i would have loooooved that. they did play welcome to chicago tho, that was awesome. then mat said

"Milwaukee has always been the brother city to Chicago, we go to numerous shows in chicago and somehow we always miss this place and thatz not right cuz u guys fucking right  am i right wisconsin?!?!?!?!!?!"

after they played a few more songs mat said he didnt want to get off stage that he liked being up there talking to us, so he did. at some point a skinny blond guy wearing big black sunglasses and nothing else but a thong....omg....came out, mat gets this adorable smile on his face as this guy is taking pictures and such and mat says:

"omg...ive missed you. i duno if you guys no this guy, he is our little wisconsin party animal, we keep him locked up in the back of the rave and his name is Zoolander...how did you get out Zoolander???" all is quiet,,zoolander sayd "i duno" and shrugs his shoulders.

 the whole band is laughing as mat gets some pictures with zoolander. then mat says

"now....(with a devilsh cute grin on his face and a mischevious look in his eye);...i dont know what the laws are here in wisconsin...but im not leaving this stage until some 14 year old girl in the front row spanks your naked ass."

mat and zoolander jump from the stage as mat trys to pick out who will do the spanking. "you, you want to do it?"  he says to a girl she does.. "wait wait wait..." he says "i have a microphone, i want everyone to hear this" puts microphone near ass "okay quiet..no no, quiet, in back quiet quiet quiet...okay" all the sudden you hear a big thud of the microphone and the crowd erupts into the cheers

mat laughs and they get back on stage....okay...i was right behind zoolander when he got on stage...very very very very very very very disturbing. from all the girls around me there was noise of disgustion. the entire band is lauging and mat says(mat says alot)

"you SICKO.....(laughs) this show isnt supposed to be about naked guys, man sweat, thongs, or ass cracks" haha

they play one last song and mat jumps in the crowd a final time. i touch his leg right under his knee....love. then after the last song jonnys part is done and he looks directly at the group of people im in with a crazy look on his face and jumps in, he would have landed directly on top of me but spun to the side somehow...i touched his hair shoulder and leg. ohhhhhhhh that part about jonny reminds me...iv been to shows where the bands dont make much eye contact while, kill hannah, they like to make eye contact.t here wer numerous times during the show where band members would look at specific people and wave and you would know who they were waving to and such, or they would look at a certin person directly in the eyes and smile. jonny looked me in the eyes, did a cute lil smile and winked....yes...he winked. haha. yea, so then they were finally done but before they left the stage mat said

 "now if your wish and dream is to lay your hands on this fine man(jestures to greg) well then tonight isthe night dreams are going to come true, he will be workin the merch stand after the show wich is right over...wait..where is the merch stand?(crowd points to left) right over there(he points to left)".

then they leave stage, mat carries the small pink bear off with them. okay so then we went to see if the entire band was over there, they werent it was only greg and we didnt want to go over there becuase it was only for people buying merch, wich we already had. soon after we left but  not before i heard the guys from late april talking to fans. they were drunk off their underage asses and they were talking to a bunch of girls "here let me sign your titties"etc etc. i though to myself that if gerard was here, he would have a cute lil speech against them. it almost made me happy that syd had told them their band sucked. then we left, we couldnt see the tour bus anywhere near the front and we left.

overall it was an extremely tame show. i didnt even sweat much yea. no bruises or anything, when kill hannah was out it was amazing they are great live and i wish they could have played more than just the hour they did. i love kill hannah.

 

<newly learned details: we were in the lower level eagles hall and just remembered this:i could have brought my camera, they didnt do any searches>